Show someone the mirror of them self, and in most cases, they will tell you it is you that has the problem, you are the one that can’t see your reflection. But it is you that has the mirror up to them, not the other way around, right?
So, you’re trying to tell someone that they are draining you, that they suck the energy out of you, but you’re afraid to do so.
The big clue here is in your fear.
If you are afraid to tell someone that they are continually beating the negative drum of songs lyrics in mind, because their reaction will not be wholesome, that is your light to all of this drama.
Let’s put it another way. If I held your reflection of yourself, to you, and suggested that you weren’t compassionate enough, hopefully, you would take this feedback and sit with it for a while. You would validate my reasons and acknowledge that I may or may not have a point. Neither the less, you will take it on board, and your reaction will be calm and open to growth.
When someone cannot and will not look in their reflection, or if they do and reject what you are suggesting, they will react in a defensive and challenging manner, stating that you are wrong, you are the one that has it all upside down.
But you can look in your mirror; they are not.
This information is your testimonial to you that you are right. You are in the right because you are prepared to polish your mirror to see more deeply how you can grow, they are not.
People that don’t respond well to negative feedback are either in denial or can’t see what you see.
So how do we tell someone that they are draining?
It’s a tough situation for you, and I do understand how you are feeling.
Your options are:
Stay away or stay at arm’s length. Sometimes this is the easiest way.
Confront them with a feedback sandwich!
Starting with a compliment, then the constructive feedback, and ending with another tribute. For example – ” You are such a caring person, I do need to let you know something though, I feel that you talk too much about your ailments and I think entirely down from this. I love spending time with you and know you have a good heart. Can we work through this?
There is your feedback sandwich.
Some people will react rashly to the example above, but you are not here to absorb every difficult emotion that someone is going through, you are a human being, worthy of love and a two way, friendly conversation.
It is not a one-way conversation, and it is two.
If you don’t disclose your difficulty and how it makes you feel, you may end up resenting and even leaving them.
We leave because they cannot see their flaws.
We resent because we cannot hold their reflection in front of them, in fear that they will react badly, so we stay silent and endure the emotional pain.
This is not your fault.
Can you hold up your mirror and take constructive feedback?
If you said yes, then this person’s flaws are not your fault. You are far more advanced in your spiritual growth, so please don’t let them get to you.
We can show people where they are going wrong, but if they don’t want to see, if their thoughts blind them, and as hard as this is to do, you need to detach yourself and keep at arm’s length.
There are millions of people that have never looked into their reflection, they are either scared of what they will see, or they are too ignorant and arrogant to understand that you are showing them something that could help them to grow.
People will only grow when they are ready.
Why were you placed with such people then? I hear you ask.
You are placed with them so that you can grow beyond measure.
From their lack of understanding, you have learnt;
To create a higher thresh hold
To focus more on yourself.
That their traits are unwholesome and your pride in being the opposite
You have learnt to be more sensitive to others needs, and you also know what you need for your self.
Those are just a few.
Please know this as I speak with you, your endurance has carved you into a higher state of being. Your patience has shown you the path in which you want to go. I am proud of you for being able to look into your reflection and grow. And for those that do not, this is something that we cannot control, so we must protect ourselves and keep the distance.
I hope you find peace in your situation.
Love Olivia xxx